It is 8 days before I leave for Hong Kong. I cannot wait. But partly, or maybe mostly, because, I cant wait to paint over my NN memories with new colours, new smells, new tastes and traitor that i am, new friends. And so that terrible question assualts me once again, that gaping monster of a ? that drools and grunts; trailing its swollen double chin and obiese belly along the floor- shuffling warpishly into my path when i turn away; left or right. Raising its ugly warty head to bark coarsely or just eyeball me, with such a chilling penetration; grinning despicably. and that question, that stuuupid question which authorises this ugly bloated toads presence; which means i cant just disperse the image, goes like "is your life a rebound?"
From Northern Ireland to Turkey, from Turkey to Russia, from Russia to Hong Kong, from Hong Kong to China, from China to London (not to mention saturday nights). What the frick am i running away from?
Hannah, Hayley and I; Cesme, Turkey, August 08Why cant these memories just soak into me, become a cherished ember burning below the surface rather then a picture so bright i cant look at it. I have locked myself away into my house, as though mourning the death of something. But why put it to death? Why forget friends like you've never known, and a girl braver then you ever thought she could be? Why burn all my bridges?
It's Takondwa's birthday tomorrow. I should be there.
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