16.01.09

long live lush! in fact, long live smelling good! i got packages from home, a shoe box from some of my best friends and a larger heavier box of promise from my father; that had the most wonderfully aluring smell of lush wonderfulness wafting out of it. and now my room exudes well being. there is something so attractive about good smells- its almost impossible to associate something which smells good, with someone who intends evil. and when i leave the shower now, i secretly perhaps quite stupidly hope that the smell makes Sveta like, or trust, me more. and i also have replacement scented candles. when i grow up and own my own house, it will always smell absolutely delightfully welcoming. sometimes i wonder if the eleven year old, filthy combat wearing unwashed hair tomboy rachel, would be completely ashamed and disgusted at the absolute girl she has become; thateven buys nail files- but i think that perhaps she would have a sort of begrudging awe, for this new person, with longer hair and longer nails. my hair and nails are getting very long. of course, you will wonder what how this rant relates torussia, but it does. in a sort of, im running out of things to write about, way. at least for this week, because i have spent a disgusting number of hours playing the Sims, which also came in the package, which i have a terrible volunerability for, and is quite effective for shutting down my mind.

im not sure if it is the Sims, or the treats which i discovered to be out of date (having taken ages to arrive in the post),but for the past few days i have felt quite ill. it began at the linguistic university,when i dropping in on Jehnya, was offered some of the burritos Deborah had cooked from scratch. They were delicious of course, but afterward, as we sat and talked, i noticed my stomach steadily begin to swell, and then had the worststomach ache ever. i walked to my bus stop in proper pain, and had the runs all evening. the next day my package arrived, i ate one mince pie and half a thumb length fruit cake, during the night i was slightly uncomfortable maybe, butnot so bad. in the morning i ate another mince pie and the rest of the fruit cake, and since then i have been ill. not so sick that i have thrown up; despite swallowing down a vomit burp or two, but unwell enough that i haveto take a moment before i leave the flat, because i can be overwhelmed in dizziness. and now i have the most pounding headache that is even making my neck stiff. discovering that the mincepies went out of date something like threeweeks ago, i threw them in the bin- in case Sveta or Sirosha contract some sort of disease. But i noticed this evening, that Sveta has taken them out. motioning to them and repeating words like 'old', 'bad', 'finished', 'dead december' until she seemed to understand; but didnt seem too deterred. They have very strong stomachs. the milk here has made another volunteer sick, its quite strange- usually lumpy and sour. and the bread is often out of date. and we have beenwarned about the tap water. considering the marks and sparks goodies i had been sent, i noticed that generally food at home is far richer, and far just better. it could just be marks and spencers quality, but we have huge loaves of thicksliced bread, percy pigs that come in packets, tasty meat and sausages, hundreds of different cereal brands, peanut butter, cream etc. just good food. food here is a bit plainer. but i think i prefer it.

im beginning to wonder if russians arent like the evolved race. tougher, smarter, more determined, and beautiful. they can stomach mince pies which have been out of date for three weeks. they live through -30 in the winter and +33 in the summer; in sweltering apartment buildings. they are so tall, and very strong; at Andrea/Magda's party, a drunk russian picked up two menand practically twirled them around! the women are beautiful and have many interests, as well as being able to cook and clean and completely cater to their men; i have heard about one girl who got terribly sick and was scared it meant she couldnt drive to her boyfriend's house and cook his dinner- as she does every night! and Miss World is russian. in fact, if you are looking for a wife; i agree that you should come to this country. and in terms of their language, i have been told if you want to say nothing; learn english, if you want to speak of love; learn spanish, but if you want to say everything you feel; learn russian.